I have over 100 blog friends (on another blog), and not a single one of them has any marriage problems. Bullsh*t. Am I surprised that people don't lay out the dirty details of marital fights on the internet for all to see? Of course not. Heaven knows I'm not about to lay this stuff out on the blog my husband's cheating ex stalks me on. But I think someone should put it out there. I think it should exist somewhere. So here it is, my marraige and my flaws, in all their raw, human glory.
Will my marriage last? Sometimes I don't know. 95% of the time, I think it will. Of course it will. I love my husband; he's an amazing man. He loves me. And we're both very devoted to our kids.
But that other 5% of the time? That 5% is BAD. He can lose his temper for 20 minutes and make me seriously consider the end. When we fight, we tear each other to shreds. And if something doesn't change, this could be the end of us.
So I've decided to make things change. I've been seeing a psychologist trying to fix my part of this issue. Eventually, I'll drag his ass in, too.
Things are better than they used to be. I have no idea how we made it through the first year. We were at each other's throats the entire time. Ultimately, I think sex and stubbornness are all that got us through. That, and a hell of a lot of conscession and capitulation on my part. In that first year, we got in shouting, throw down fights almost every week.
It's not like that anymore. We go weeks without a fight, which is amazing. But when everything breaks lose (when Seeley has his "man period"), it's just as bad as it ever was. We may have gotten better at meeting each other half way and avoiding fights, but we haven't gotten even a little bit better at actually fighting.
I don't want to get divorced. Ever. But there are moments when I think that somethings got to give. So here we go, for better or worse, follow me as I either fix my marriage or I - don't.
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